Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
