I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
