I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
