Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
