We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
