2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
