NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
