I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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