sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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