why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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