oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
