All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I CAN MOONWALK!
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize