I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
