he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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