Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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