just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
