Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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