yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
