i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
