Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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