I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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