I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
