Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
