i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
