Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
