I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
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