We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
