what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
