Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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