is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
