I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
