Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
