it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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