Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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