I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
