i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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