A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize