benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
