I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
