If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
