I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
