he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
