he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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