just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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