what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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