I wish I could punch you in the face.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
