Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize