alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize