i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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