we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
