i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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