last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
