I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
