And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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