Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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