thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
