new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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