the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
