Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
