Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
well you can't waste a boner
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
