I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
