3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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