SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize