I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
