TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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