If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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