I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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