he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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