the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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